Fumbling his confidence; and failed attempts to fly,fly!

2005-02-20T18:52:00.001+08:00

in the words of ben, " I have made a decision to put this ~~xanga~~ blog into a cryogenic deep freeze, perhaps to be thawed out at a much later date, or perhaps left frozen for future generations to unearth and thaw."

yes, im giving up on a public blog. its to much of an invasion than anything..
bye bye everyone, its been nice havin ya'll read my blog, dont miss me!
:)

2005-02-17T00:24:00.000+08:00

currently listening: eternal love- pj and duncan
and i count on no one;
to trust,
to hear the shit i struggle with;

coz i dont;
trust enough.
and
fear letdowns, disappointments and betrayal.

sometimes it wholly overwhelms; i break
DOWN
-
-
-
the rubbish chute; i go..
to lead life a recluse,
conceding no human life form,
only the demons ,i battle against.

the once-broken facade;
is rebuilt.
victoriously decieving ;
these concealed lies.

2005-02-15T15:01:00.000+08:00

currently listening: one more try-a1
just when you think all da valentine's day shit was over, it decides to bite you in the arse a second time.
apparently v.day wasnt over for repubicans as they played sappy ballads and read out skin-crawling dedications abt 2 hrs ago in our small campus, annoying the crap outta me..
*sents eyeballs to the heavens*
pffffffft.
they took no considerations to lessons gg on as they blast the speakers, drowning granny sylvia's voice as she conducted vb. rofl.
which would be a good thing, if they werent playin cheena shit in addition to the sappy ingrish ballads and the annoyingly cheesy dedications from patronizing retards( those, OBVIOUSLY attached)yest. was bad enuff alredi. had to tahan all jason's valentine jokes yest. until my face turned green and TODAY, they do this to me.
pfffffffffffffft.
UT was interesting.
had some technical error in the connection during UT hence, three quarters of the population could not log on to the test page, hence we get another chance in attempting the UT..
dont know if that's a good thing.. having mixed views on doing the dratted test again.interesting, nonetheless.

yea, pretty much whut i wanna say in this post.

2005-02-14T21:19:00.000+08:00

currently listening: exit to exit- ryan cabrera
could it be the taste was bittersweet; well it all comes down to your defeat.

i feel awful.
horrendified.
it's the fucking life im leading.. fucking annoys me, down to every single fatherfucking hiccup in situations made my brainless fucktards( includes me, no less). i may not show it alot of times, but the intense annoyance AND disappointment in the people around me and in myself, IS positively present.
and these strong emotions are hidden underneath the guff i generate, to suppress my insecurities.
now, dont get me wrong.. i am genuine, when im happy.. it's only when people piss me off BAD, i react by not blowing the matter up big, cover my annoyance and irritation up with the disgusing light -hearted and FAKE laughs, coz quite honestly, i dont wanna blow the issue till its out of proportion and besides, arguing with an idiot that insists that they're right even though it's downright obvious that they've no basis to back em' is an utter waste of my time and ultimately, you'd sink to their level.

*exhales*

i prolly just contradicted myself a million times in this post and showed people who read this shit how intensely flawed i am.....
thats where the self-hate,disappointment shit comes in and asphyxiates.
and a random sidenote: nowadays, the meaning of "friendship" is clear no more;

ARGH.

i needs enlightenment.

2005-02-12T13:44:00.000+08:00

for the record: i hate valentine's day.

BUT.. v.day this year, falls on grammy's night.
things would be bearable *smiles*
ALOHA, XTINA! *grin

2005-02-10T23:48:00.000+08:00

currently listening: drama queen- lindsay lohan.
taffy just articulated my thoughts on vb.

i am fucking hopeless in VB, its just depressing. i can slide down to extreme depression every coming lesson.
and..
you cant believe the amount of dread i have to face when i'm going thru VB lessons.ive come to the point where i really cant, and i mean really dont, give a shit about my grades.and during the lessons, when she starts asking questions, i wish i was invisible or that i wasnt in class.i wish i could become smaller, small the size of an ant.the lesson makes me feel horrendously overwhelimingly sinfully and curelessly dumb and stupid.

WOOHOO, sometimes she justs hit the right nail on the right head ay.
today was good;) did not step out of the house atall;instead i got to chill at home.
fantabulous!
havent opened my red packets i recieved for cny. dare'nt.lol.
my extended wishlist(should really put this at the corner of this domain huh.)
1) one tree hill soundtrack
2) the dvd.
3) tyler hilton- the tracks off.

yerp, thats all from me brilliance.

2005-02-10T13:15:00.000+08:00

currently listening: where you are- jessica simpson, nick lachey
check THIS out.. *laugh*
wadya think?

2005-02-08T11:35:00.000+08:00

currently listening: since u been gone(live at superbowl)- kelly clarkson
... and i spent all mornin workin on this layout, well, just choosing the pic from images in yahoo search and uploadin em on photobucket.yes i finally got an account there, airna *grin
aint it gorgeous? ;]
went over to mich's house and got my hair dyed dark brown.. and all my white/silver hairs are thoroughly hidden underneath that brown mob. hahaha, million thanks to her bro for lending me his old shirt coz being the donkefied brain that i am, i forgot to bring extra clothes.. pfft.
another billion and trillion thanks to michelle an jamie for being my hairdressers for the day.. pleasure being your specimen of experimentation. HAHA.
airna:see? i've started this comment at the end of each post like everybody else, so everyone is honoured by my fantastic prescence,haha.pfft.
sophie: hahaha. thanks ah.
jamie: random? sounds like vb leh.
nick: noted ;]

2005-02-05T19:24:00.000+08:00

currently listening: god's alive and well- billy gilman
im dreading CNY.
the 2o(?) standard answers you have to prepare every house you visit, people you only see once a year and the icklsome,disgusting and boisterous lil kiddies. *SHUDDER*
ewww.
i've got a good mind to dye my hair purple and blue, have 2o piercings and wear dark eyeliner just to be the nightmare of every kid in each house i visit during CNY.rofl. im kidding.
seriously, im debating on whether im gonna act all tao infront of the strangers i meet coz i'll have no interest in gettin to know 'em and unless you're cute, i'll prolly just shift to one corner of the house and drown in my brilliant self *grin*
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MAAs.
it wasnt that great after all.
xtina wasnt even there! pfft.
maroon 5 wasnt present.
kelly performed only ONE song and the dress she was wearing totally sucked ass.
only highlight was GC and SP performing?
a letdown for those who went *smileees*,, unless of coz you're into asian pop.
and im hating alicia keys for replacing xtina as host, being the childish prat that i am.
HAHA.

2005-02-04T15:03:00.000+08:00

*YAWWWN.
sweeeeeppppppppppyy.
im bored laa.
like really,REALLY BORED.
it's like bored found a friend and now they're both bored.

regarding my previous post,, anyone wanna hangout? text me or gimmie a call! =D.

boredboredboredboredbored.

WOW, three posts in a day,wicked.

2005-02-04T10:10:00.000+08:00

currently listening: save my life- p!nk
WANTS:
1) missy higgins- the sound of white
2) ryan cabrera- take me away
3) get my hair highlighted.
4) get a new mobile fone.

2005-02-04T08:10:00.000+08:00

currently listening: lost without each other- hanson
randomness:
your msges yest. sure brightened my night,
im glad we're still on talkin terms.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
yest. didnt go according to plan.
slacked at orchard AGAIN. the plan was to hav breakfast in the morning at shaw macs, wait for yadz to finish his UT, movie and lastly lunch at airport's popeyes.
in the end, only 1/4 of the plan was carried out, a prolonged time in orchard before heading to bishan.
been gettin app. 5 hrs sleep everyday and it's takin its toll on me..
mhmm.
i've holiday the whole of next week.. excellent. gonna catch up on sleep and hopefully with some friends laa.

2005-02-01T15:36:00.000+08:00

currently listening: retarded slyvia preaching.
FUCK. i got pulled out into the wilderness to explain codes only known to kung bushmen.*translation: sylvia told me to present vb codes. and being me the useless dum dum at vb, i stammered and pretty much read thru' the codes.
-_-
hence, this has put me in a foul mood. stupidity murders.
however i'd like to bitch abt the flaws of ms slyvia.
I HATE IT WHEN SHE ACTS ALL RETARDED LIKE WE'RE ALL KIDS.
a classic? SHE PATS OUR FUCKIN LIL HEADS AFTER TALKIN TO ANYONE OF US INDIVIDUALLY.
goood grief.
am i 7 or 17?

im SO skippin sch on thurs.
i cant WAIT for thurs.
*cries

2005-02-01T10:18:00.000+08:00

currently listening: i hope you dance- lee ann womack
yest was fucking brilliant. skipped school with taffy to slack in town.did a world of good to my brains and it saved me from a recurring sickness of a routine.needless to say, i had a hellva good time with the infamous mrs baros. went to the macs below lucky plaza for breakfast and to use the internet connection on our laptops, after which we headed down to shaw house macs doing the above.
walked around taka and wisma before heading to lucky plaza for laksa. laksa was fantabulous considering the last time i had laksa was in primary 6. after dining with herroyaltaffness, we walked around town a bit before heading home.
met up with shab,yadz and fareez at night at downtown B.K. talked trash,as usual.
ahhh,yesterday was goood *dance
doing the above this thurs. yay. prolly going for a movie and heading down to the airport to have lunch at POPEYES.

it feels bloody good.;]

2005-01-29T10:28:00.000+08:00

currently listening: ms independent- kelly clarkson
yesterday was horrible, something which i shall not go into details. anyhow, hopefully all's good already.
and HOPEFULLY, nothing of similar nature will happen in the future.
*shudder*
recieved a friendster testimonial from eugene,
what better place to ask a question thanon my testimonial :P? Yes aus has beengood to me mate. Getting a bit ofbushfires here and there but nothing toworry about. And no, I'm not anarcissist by your standards, you haveas many pics as me on your friendsteraccount ;), i mean afterall people whoput up anything other them pics ofthemselves just removes the purpose ofusing friendster. Making friends meansknowing how they look like, imo. Anyways hope you have fun in all yourundertakings, and Godbless.
HAHAH.
i dig the brilliant sarcasm.

2005-01-27T10:26:00.000+08:00

currently listening: tonight's the night- pink
the ardent gaze i yearn for existence;
never did come to pass.
you left me with a broken facade,
a defiled standing.

- incomplete poem i wrote just before today's understanding test on things happening lately.

2005-01-21T20:03:00.000+08:00

currently listening: baby its you- jojo.
recieved news that kelly clarkson would be performing at the MAAS. bleh bleh bleh !baaaad .considering that xtina's hosting the event. hence, if i go, i'd be seeing BOTH xtina and kelly, two of the people i REALLY want to meet.
*sniff*
went swimming with the family today and as usual i ended up burnt... and had the best choc ice cream ever !
yea.. thats abt it..
im trying to commit to blog everyday, if i can.=)
it doesnt matter who reads, coz its my life, so it's all good on the issue of the purpose of this blog.. besides, i need to keep lianne updated on my life *grin*
i really MISS you.

2005-01-20T10:35:00.000+08:00

currently listening: addicted- kelly clarkson.
yesterday was shit, absolute rubbish. esteem was down on the clumps of mud that lie beneath the earth.. i need to work on my presentation skills big time coz their pathetic and i've to learn to shoulder some responsibilities before i go bust or smth.
pfft.
anyHOOS, today's better it seems and hopefully, it'll stay that way .

2005-01-19T09:55:00.000+08:00

currently listening: shape of my heart- backstreet boys
i merrily wore my shirt inside out yesterday for the second time in the term, thankfully i had my jacket on for most of the time i didnt realise that i wore it inside out.. it was not until i was walkin from tanglin mall to school that i realised that my label was funny .HAHAHA. luckily i was smart enough not to tell nora and jamie abt it UNTIL i got the shirt back on the right side..
LOL.
im seriously blind lor.
tsk.
tried to get ourselves locked up in sch yest evening hoping to have an encounter with the infamous mary( security guard with the HUGEST ASS i've ever seen) but all we got was to hear her loveleh voice thru' the PA.hence, we ended up failing miserably after which we headed down to ghimmoh's(spelling?) macs to slack, another mistake. ended up taking a cab home so i could get home on time to watch CSI.

2005-01-18T09:37:00.000+08:00

currently listening: slipped away- avril lavigne
argh. am surviving on 4 hrs of sleep.feeling v.sore. i recieved news yesterday that simple plan and avril lavigne's are holding their gigs here[!] it's the next best thing if i cant make it for the mtv asia awards in thailand -mutter-
well, i did go for the ONLY roadshow held in singapore for a chance to win the tickets, which surprised me when i found out that it was the only roadshow coz there werent many people and all we had to do was to take a picture and send to starhub using our cam fones with daniel ong and carrie chong with all three of us in a chosen kungfu pose.
like EWWWWWW.* himbotic shriek*
haha. WTH.
so anyways, im still waiting for a reply that i've won the tickets.. it's been app. a week.
lalala.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
it has been app. 15 mins since the VB UT ended.. it sucked ass. as usual.and helen(science fag) is being her usual self.. naturally grumpy. in some ways, im happy.. the past weeks have left me uncomfortable with her fake cheerfulness and her hopeless attempts to make the class enjoyable.BUT.. in MOST ways, im glad also coz she gave me good grades in the past weeks after the infamous uproar..haha.
the pros and cons of every decision lah.
sigh. you cant always have everything.

2005-01-17T08:28:00.000+08:00

currently listening: crazy lil thing called love - micheal buble
*YAWWWWWWNSSSSSSS*
*groan*
MONDAY BLOOOOSSSSSSSSSSS.
VB. *grumble*

reply my msg dammit !
sorry,
ambiguity.

2005-01-16T15:31:00.000+08:00

currently listening: sand in my shoes- dido
i just deleted a number of past entries from this blog. stuff i dont want to remember, ever.
*clears throat*entry. rightho.
hardly have much of a life. life revolves around school, food and sleep.. trying to hold up with the long hours..
yerp, pretty much my life.. will blog soon.
hope everyone's doing fine.

2004-12-27T19:15:00.000+08:00

currently listening: gone- kelly clarkson
helo people. markos is back from his three week new zealand holiday,, am currently suffering from a culture shock.
okay, various things that have been happening in my life.
1)finally got my copy of kelly clarkson's new release.
2)am scheming to find a way to land myself at next yr's MAA's and CHRISTINA WILL BE HOSTIN. dammit,darnit.. why cant they have it in sg. bleh. ITS CHRISTINA ya know.grr.
wants
1) maroon 5- songs about jane
2) kelly clarkson- behind hazel eyes dvd.
3) a digital cam
=)
b'day's on the 6th march lovelehs. haha, im SHAMELESS .
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh, every day of my life.
My heart can't possibly break;
When it wasn't even whole to start with
-because of you(kelly clarkson)

2004-12-24T17:54:00.001+08:00

at sydney airport, coming home. and i'm feeling stupid. shouldnt hav turned on the bloody mobile.bah.got a few things to rant abt, just not in the moood. another 7 hrs of buming ard. happy xmas all and i'll see ya'll soon.

2004-12-14T08:04:00.000+08:00

haha, with regards to lianne's comment, i dO post more often when im out of the country.. i guess im bloody lazy to update when the internet's readily available.. anyhow, am in a library in omaramu and will be online for the next 20 mins or so..
aite, first things first..
am still staying in omarama resort.. its getting a bit borin as its in the middle of nowhere and the activities are quite limited.yea.. am looking forward to the time in christchurch which is our next stop after omarama in abt three days time, hopefully, things would get interesting by then..
next,, a quick note to ridhwan. im really, really sorry for forgetting ur b'day man, hope you got the sms i sent you..
yay ! im on msn !
more updates hopefully, take care ya'll ! happy holidays !

2004-12-10T07:38:00.000+08:00

weloooooooooo! im back online! *grins* its 7am sg time and everyone's asleep. *crestfallen* noone's on msn. aaanyhow, am heading to oramara resort today,, am staying there for abt a week before headin down to christ church. am in the south of new zealand and the weather comparatively crap with the weather in the north. it's been raining non stop. the lady in the gift shop told us it might snow at this rate; and its summer now -_-.
aaanyhow, i'll shall take this chance to wish the queen a HAPPY 18TH B'DAY ! *grins*
and to everybody else in sg, im missin all of ya'll.. 've been havin dreams of different ppl in sg..

2004-12-07T03:57:00.000+08:00

hellloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo !
one and all, from down under ! markos has blogged ! haha. like, finally. its actually not hard to find an internet cafe, its just that by the time we arrive in one town, the shops are closed. yeah. am currently in lake taupo. the weather's pretty erratic. it sunny for 3 mins before it bloody pours, and it doesnt stop at a bloody pour.. the clouds would sent hailstones from the heavens.haha. tried to blog at sydney but the coms wont working. bleh. aanyhow, have been moving a fair bit towards the south. am going to eventually end up in Omarama which im going to stay there for a week before heading down to christ church.
the views spectacular,honestly and there are tons of cowws and sheeep. haha. quite fascinating actually considering i live in a school of cows in the form of humans ! lol *think minahs* gahahaa.
the people are frieeeenddlyyy ! they're soooo polite. haha.
anyhow, gotta stop here, wanna go read some blogs.. hav abt 5 mins left on the internet, will get online again when possible.. and meanwhile keep missing me.. and nora, i miss yew tooo.......
take care xoxoxoxoxoxo
Markoooos.

2004-12-04T19:22:00.000+08:00

*grins* im back ! hahahaa
and the i've abt 10 more minutes on my internet time.T_T
blogging from changi airport's terminial. god, this is bloody stressful.. anyhow, gotta go..just discovered its last call for british airways.
ciao, will try and et online when im there .

2004-11-28T01:37:00.000+08:00

currently listening: since U been gone- kelly clarkson
this song smokes!highly recommended,cant wait till it hits the airwaves, or is it already playing on the radio stations? either way, still works for me.
aite, should get back to the subject at hand.
hav lost the desire to post my brutally honest opinions abt the things in my life simply because.
1) this blog is too public. the truth that every mary, lucy or martha has access to this blog has finally hit me like a GIGANTIC yellow school bus.
2) too much brutality makes me out to be the villian.
3) readers of my humble domain judge every single word that's posted up here.
4) im a walking contradiction( with relation to the above point)

hence, this blog's prolly going to be like a website rather than the diary it once was. merely an account of the events of my life and my feelings on the surface.

2004-11-25T19:23:00.000+08:00

currently listening: our lips are sealed- hilary and haylie duff
and no, i DO not listen to hilary duff in my leisure. blogging from macs, waiting for the darn rain to stop.and oh,oH,OHHHHH, jamie's free trial for upwords has expired=( no kaki liao. anyhow, things hav been a disaster since i last blogged. bleh. bummer. i think all good days hav eluded me.
aaaaaaanyhow, i gotta stop ranting on the depressing issues.
today was was fairly alright =) had a british fac for communications, which was a refreshing change( not that lee lian siong's bad, they're both just as competent but they're both also v. different). had an interesting lesson with his rojak accent *grins lianne*, especially the part when he mumbled to himself in thick british accent and then switching to singlish.hilarious laaaas,can?
oh, and i've gotten myself hooked on A1 songs. bahahahaha. have their first two albums on my laptop.
three names immediately and undoubtedly come to mind as far as A1 is concerned. ya'll know who you are *grin*
aite, my much anticipated press release has reached it's end.. i bid all you fans out there a beeeegg thankyou. muahahahahahaha..( im well aware of the reputation of my blog, so if you're one of those hidden pacmans who's been eating the words of my blawg, dont hesitate to leave a comment. you can tag me=) i promise i'll be nice, i wont bite:p

2004-11-20T07:31:00.000+08:00

currently listening: a little bit- jessica simpson
liannnnnnee, this entry is for yew!=))
misss ya with the gigantic bouts of loads; i'll try to update more often.
depressing segment of rant
doing quite badly in school for this semester and my grades so far for this semester, is faar below the grades for last semester.V. disappoining.also, my eye candy( also known as my enterprise facilitator) is not teaching enterprise no more for this sem=(.lol. im doing okay in only 2 out of 5 modules this semester.sigh.
bleh bleh blooooooo, im more depressed after this segment.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
happy segment of rant.
IM GOING TO FINALLY BE A PROUD OWNER OF A 20 GIG IPOD!! *DOES A JIG* AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAH!!! scubeeeedooobeeee doooooooooooooooooo!
got the christina aguilera's stripped in london dvd too!!!! awesome stuffs! heh.brillaint!
wants.
1) to get my hair re-highlighted( my first was a bloody disaster)
2) the new kelly clarkson cd: breakaway
3) a proper denim jacket( not something that costs 7.90 from auctions that is inhumanly big and weighs a hundred kg)
oh,wait, isnt the wants part of this happy rant suppose to be in the depressing segment. oh, bollocks, i'll never get this right.

2004-11-18T17:19:00.000+08:00

currently listening: to the sounds generated in the library.
and after all the shite that has been happening since i last updated, i cant even be bothered to blog abt it. prolly relieves my readers from my constant whining and bitchings.haha.
am waiting for dad to pick me up from school. am currently in library.so yea, only time that the desire to blog kicks in.
significant events of the past since my last update...
1) i walked out of class bcos the teacher was crap, along with half of the class.

actually that's pretty much all that has been significantly happening. the rest has been one, long monotonous string of booring events.
heh.
dad's reaching.
gotta go, ciao !=)

2004-11-10T11:20:00.000+08:00

currently listening: breakaway- kelly clarkson
the funniest testimonial i've seen while browsing on friendster is from ian to amanda.
lol.
check this out.
go read.
sigh amanda amanda. ok.testimonial.can i talk about myself instead? no? wwwhhyy??? ok ok.anyway,amanda is a worm.a fat sluggish warpish worm.with green horns.and laser shooting eyes.weighing 3 tons. ok i was kidding.she's actually a bookworm.like you know?she eats books for a living?vomits the cover out and the contents page comes out through the nose and...with..blah ok no.she isnt that kind of bookworm.she's the kind thats like sentimental and all.like she prays for her books before eating them.cos she says the have a life.munch munch *yells* OH SHUT UP!!!! *hurriedly* yes. back to the testimonial anyway.she's always reading.she says really nice stuff that makes you say "awww.." yeah.see you around. see.i wrote you such a long testimonial.so when are you passing me the ten bucks?

2004-11-04T15:47:00.000+08:00

currently listening: beautiful disaster- kelly clarkson
vb's over for a week! *heaves an urba ruber sigh of RELIEF* today wasnt even half as bad as i expected=)
random sidenote: i couldnt talk my way pass her.=( she must think that ima HUGE dork.=(

2004-11-01T08:14:00.000+08:00

currently listening: what's going on?- various artist.
i want happy entries! i miss those happy entries!
unfortunately, tis post aint gonna be a happy one either.
it sucks when your hopes suffer an instantaneous crash after havin them up this high.

empty promises made by bleeding fucktards.
--------------------------------------------------------------
just this mornin, i missed the bus. and no, i didnt miss the bus coz i didnt make it to the bus stop on time.in fact, i was AT the freakin bus stop. missed the bus coz i was dreaming; and when the army of republicans boarded bus 132, i was still standing at the bus stop in a daze. it was not until i looked around and discovered an empty bus stop tt i realised i had been left behind. pffft.
bad omen to commence the day.
it's gonna be a day of scraps, i can feel it in my bones.

2004-10-28T13:36:00.000+08:00

currently listening: hotel paper- michelle branch
sometimes a being in solitude for a while isnt such a bad thing after all. away from the chaotic regions; a time to reflect. knowing that i'll be losing my pride again, im skipping the third meeting for today's vb lesson and hiding out at the school library.
and it's doing me worlds of good.
that aside, i badly need help for VB. it's annihilating my esteem and im on my way to a mental breakdown if this continues.
im FREAKING scared for my grades this term. and in addition to this trauma, i've to worry abt attaining nuff' CE pts.bleh.
i no longer have anyone to seek solace from. everyone i know has become one one big bundle of disappointment. i can no longer confide in anyone. the world stinks and im increasingly skeptical of my own religion.
i couldnt be a any less sorrier state than i already am.
and im fiending for a cure;
every step i take,
leads to one mistake.

2004-10-28T10:26:00.000+08:00

currently listening: the woman in my life- billy gilman
im seriously considering more privacy in this blog. knowing that there are undesireble eyes reading the words i type, unnerves me. also due to the recent explicit content that has been posted.

bLeHxX. lIfE SuXx lIaOzZ lOrXx.

ima revolutionized ah beng.
shoot me,pleaseee.

2004-10-26T09:54:00.000+08:00

currently listening: tuesday morning- michelle branch
i swear im weird and i was never normal.
im fucking miserable.

2004-10-25T09:19:00.000+08:00

currently listening: fighter- christina aguilera
"JASON'S A MOTHERFUCKING ASSS HOLE. SUCK DICK,FAGGORT!"
im feeling mighty angsty today.
rp facs; fuckers united.
he gave me a stinkin' "C" for enterprise while he gave the others" Bs"? and that C was the first week before the controversial RJ??
his comments:
Marcus, I am rather concerned about you. Do you have problem understanding my lesson or is there something I can do to help you? It seems to me that you have lost interest in my lesson. Please do not hesitate to let me know if you have problems. Please continue to try your best.
NA BEI.

I MISSS KAREN!!!!!

comments for the team:
A common problem among all the teams is that your powerpoint did not really address to the problem. Perhaps this is not the style which Karen wanted in the past, for me, it is important for you to address the problem. I hope that all of you will bear that in mind for future problems. I hope all of you are able to work well together. This is less a worry for me since all of you have been through with me for one semester. As usual, please do not hesitate to let me know if you have problems. Let's work hard together. Try to encourage everyone in the team to speak up more.

well, sonny, this is the style karen taught us.
dont pitch the blame on us when you're incompetent.
maybe it was possible that i could have done well in VB.
fuckit, im so pissed.
i need shirts that send messages to people indirectly.

2004-10-23T13:34:00.000+08:00

currently listening: ms independent- kelly clarkson
replies to taggers:
jamie: *nods* very messed up indeed.
huda: hello. thx for taggin'.
ian: hello, im still alive and suriviving.
taffy: *bows coming from you, its a huge compliment. now, now watch that ego.*snicker
sarah: you can say that again.
anon: i dont hate you at all, you're a friend.

2004-10-22T23:25:00.000+08:00

currently listening: i run away- britney spears

I HATE SCHOOOOOOL!

honestly, i do.i do.
and i tt a new term would be a new beginning to spark off optimisim in attaining good grades.
hah! fucking delusions.
4 out of 5 facilitators suck to the fucking core.
one fac thinks i need counselling.
no one has told me im mentally unstable.
i guess there's a first time to everything.

2004-10-21T14:38:00.000+08:00

currently listening: noise in class.
i know im STUPID.
and it was more blatant when you made me present codes known to the kung bushmen.
*sigh
i forsee another C,D grade.

2004-10-21T08:12:00.000+08:00

currently listening: we're forgiven- the calling
second week of school and im expecting at most a "C" at worst "D" for enterprise. hah! and after yesterday's lesson, i concluded that the facs do play a part in our grades; and jason is one of the worst facs i've ever had.period.
yesterday's reflection journal:
the reflection journal question thay im going to come up with is what do i think of the different method used to conduct the third meeting in today's class. personally, i think for the way the third meeting was conducted is an abysmal way of instilling learning. firstly, it didnt work for me. it didnt spark of an interest in me to engage in the class discussion. secondly,i didnt like it cause it was disorderly and i couldnt keep up with the discussion that was going on, hence i lost interest. i came up with this question because i wanted you to know my opinion on today's lesson and to give an honest feedback on what i thought about todays lesson.
the irony of it all,,
enterprise used to be my favourite module.
now, i loathe the thought of even coming to school on that day.
on another note, this used to be up on my old blog im putting it back up here on here.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like.You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
forgive me, im not very articulate today.
[edit]
regarding thatRJ, i have to go for counselling.
JOY.
he knows that my dislike has spilled over from last semester.
hah! nice to know he' s not stupid.

2004-10-15T09:26:00.000+08:00

currently listening: i think she likes me- billy gilman
the facs for the 2nd semester are much worse than semester. for cognitive we got this fac who ought to be teaching in a primary school; a nurul look-alike. judging from the first lesson, it's evident that she does not know her stuffs. she rambles on in full circles. for enterprise, we've got jason, our former vb teacher, as our fac. which sucks cos he's exuding vb vibes. i misss arooooooooooool=( for vb we've this aunty who's only a tad better than jason. and for science we hav got another carbon copy of jas.
a brief history of jas: she's a cannot-make-it butch who's lamer than a man with no legs. she's a donkey who wears long sleeves in the scorching sun and still says its cold and rolls up her sleeves after 5 mins.
get my drift?
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
a lesson learnt.
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on a different note, i think im crushing on someone. nope, no hints.
somebody help me,plss=)

2004-10-14T22:36:00.000+08:00

currently listening: till i can make it on my own- billy gilman
just got back from what seemed like a "second dinner". got back home from school around 5ish and was immediately force fed with pasta by my mom.( ok, mere exaggeration on my part) at around 7ish, my mom said she was going over with my dad to aunty may's hse for dinner and asked if i wanted to join her. and without really giving it much thought, i said yes. so i went there in hopes of having a judiciary of critics while watching idol while i was there.
boy, was i HORRRIBLY WRONG.
firstly, there werent many people in the house. i should've found out more details from my mom,
and secondly, i overlooked the fact that they had a KID. icklesome kid. for those who might not know; apart from billy gilman, i LOATHE kids. and this one required persuasion before i could get him off the television. the kid was watching some bill and ben's trainshow on vcd, and without my parents help who are experts in making kids relent and do their bidding, i would have been forced to watch that DUMB show.
so yes, i got to watch idol.
and here's my verdict.
SG IDOL SUCKS TO THE FUCKING CORE.
ITS A GALORE OF BENGS AND LIANS AND ARSEHOLES U WANNA SLAM SO BAD.
the judges are trying so hard to stir up controversy, they make distasteful comments that blatantly shows their incompetency in judging the competition.

honestly, everything abt sg idol's a major catastrophe.
everybody in the competiton's just an aspiring wannabe.

2004-10-14T15:08:00.000+08:00

currently listening: the the noise generated from class
blogging during class. i've got thru my first vb presentation for the term. in three words to sum up the day. it.was.bad.
the fac's rambling on.. dont think i've even paid attention for 5 secs throughout the lesson. have learnt nothing.
poooooi. this cant go on any longer. but for now, i cant be arsed.
i've another seven days to enjoy before the next vb class.
and oh. it has a more impressive tittle for this term.
"computing and mathematical methods 2."
*gasp*
-_-

2004-10-11T23:00:00.000+08:00

currently listening: tilt your head back- nelly feat. christina aguilera
this is gonna be an entry of a recount of my day; nothing thought provoking or interesting. so skip this entry if you're not interested in reading my rant.
its back to *sigh* school after a most borin 4 weeks of vacation. things hav been stagnant and extremely DEAD and unproductive and to top it all off, my sis told me i could have gotten a job during the hols that was possible to make a hundred dollars a day . like WTF right?!! -_-.
so yessssh. as you could have guessed, i was PEEEVED. i swear the amount of regrets i've accumulated for the last 17 years can beat the amount of BULLSHIT president george w. bush has generated in the his years of service as president in the united states,, hands down.
its all good now. live and learn. tho a NORMAL person would most prolly reach his or her wits end if they had made the same amount of mistakes as me.
+)
aaaanyhow, went by to eat at ridhwan's restaurant somewhere at tanah merah in the evening after school with yadz, iss and fareez, a romantic dinner for four. hurr hurr.havent seen ridhwan in decades, so it was definately a blast seeing that fucked up face=)) had conplimentary food cooked specially by him and it was da best.
only drawback of the day was i had spent every bit of my day's money=(( heartwrenching. need ta save up to buy a new discman!!

2004-10-09T01:42:00.000+08:00

currently listening: dreams- fantasia barrino
hey ya'll! another update from yours truly =) it has been another lazy, unproductive week as usual and im thankful school's starting tho i know i'll beg otherwise when the term's raging in full force. haha!
anyhow, i've decided to try my hand in poetry.. i've added a poetry link on my blog, ya'll can go check that out.. pardon me if ya'll think its not good, im working on my skills at poetry =D.. so yeah..
if you cant find the link u can click here to acess the page.
enjoy ya'll=)

2004-10-05T21:53:00.000+08:00

currently listening: doin' things( we're not supposed to)- justin guarini
5 more days before the term starts. o where,o WHERE did all the time go?
spent idling.
RIGHT.
sigh.

2004-10-04T22:27:00.000+08:00

currently listening: get over you- brian mcknight
in a desperate need of a purpose in life.

2004-09-30T15:20:00.000+08:00

currently listening: drama queen- lindsay lohan
evidently, i've not been blogging for the last coupa days cos there has not been any hair raising issues that i need to bitch on this domain. everyday has been a vicious routine of the sad and pathetic things i do in order to appear occupied.. the only time i broke this trend of boredom was when i went out with 2/3 of the army of skanks on tuesday. the rest is a history of staring blankly at the goggle box and watching re runs of lame shows.sigh.
i need a life!
---- randomness----
dangit. the roof is still leaking..
------------------------------
aite, in attempt to cure the vicious cycle,
i'll reply to those who has painstakingly taken the trouble to tag me..
huda: heyaaaaaa! you take care too!
taffy: ehh? i got it a loong time agooo!
fadzie: missh ya and the whole class too! you take care and good luck fer your exams!
the royal pain in the arse: it depends on the situation when considering the level of brutality in one post for me; i do care abt other people's feelings.. i've decided that if im going to be bloody mean, its going up on my private blog.
jamie: yeaa! backstreet boys.. sentimental ballads when feeling sentimental which is bloody rare. other times, you're not gonna discover me listening to a backstreet tune!
and last but not least MARCUS 2: get a life! stop spamming my tagboard..

and to my readers im NOT schizophrenic!!! that was a spammer.

2004-09-24T09:49:00.000+08:00

hang on to the world as it spins around;
just don't let the spin get you down.
things are moving so fast;
hold on tight and you will last.
never mind your fears;
brighter days will soon be here.
take it from me some day we'll all be free;
keep on working tall, and hold your head up high.
lay your dreams right out to the sky.
take it from me;
someday we'll all be free.
just wait and see;
someday we'll all be free.

2004-09-23T21:52:00.000+08:00

currently listening: changes(shrek ost)- butterfly boucher feat.david
i realise im exceedingly hypocritical when it comes to alot of things and that i've become an arrogant bastard because of that; vindictive too.
i've gotta stop acting like a snob and show more lovin' cause it's only a matter of time before i'll be labelled pious and despised by all.
POOOI.
easier said then done indeeed, cos ima Markusss. and a Markuss is selfish, conceited and V. stubborn and refuses to accept change.
so it'll take alot of work to make me less of a menace to this world.
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still considering the offer on yahoo auctions.. check this link out... and let me know if you think its a scam annot cause im V.tempted.

2004-09-23T10:51:00.000+08:00

this is going at 65 bucks on yahoo auctions!?!!!!!!
plsss let it not be a scam...
*prays harrd*

2004-09-22T22:06:00.000+08:00

huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu buoy...
the entries in this blog are getting crappier by the day.
aite, for starters, just got news that alicia keys will be holding a concert on the 7th october. and the cheapest ticket pricings are 61 bucks, and as usual, my chances of going are as slim as a flatworm can get..so, POOI..
next, to aggravate the situation, the finalists from american idol are coming to town two days before the alicia keys.. ticket pricings are 100+ bucks and above..hence, unless someone sponsers me with a free ticket, i'll most likely be moping at home...
oh well.
boredy boredy bored................................

2004-09-21T18:11:00.000+08:00

noone has texed/called in the last 24 hrs..
my phone has finally gotten it's well deserved peace..lol.
whatever.

2004-09-21T10:25:00.000+08:00

currently listening: ms independent- kelly clarkson
bleh. another day to kill.
bumming around the house and doing absolutely nothing has become my forte. i need to do something productive.
movie,anyone?

2004-09-20T10:08:00.000+08:00

currently listening: broken- seether feat amy lee
it frustrates me sometimes that i can't be brutally honest on this blog. being me, im always conflicted in whether i should let the world know abt my issues. an excellent way to do so, is to publish my whines on this blog. after which i would regret doing so, after a day or two, when the whole world has seen what a vindictive and cruel bastard i am in dissing the poor innocent victim; and even as i type this post, im wondering if readers of this blog will get the same notion as the one above.
hence, it's gonna result in more ambiguous post on my part.. there hav been some ambiguous posts in my archives, but these posts are meant to be vague..but it's some of the future posts which are going to be made ambiguous cos of the various reasons which i'm facing extreme difficulty in articulating them in this post and also cos this post has been dragged far too long and has made me ponder far too much in putting my earlier thoughts into words...
-sigh- so yeah, i suppose this is what i have to say..

2004-09-19T14:16:00.000+08:00

new layout.. gorgeous ainit?:p

2004-09-18T20:25:00.000+08:00

ima slow-lane dweller instead of a fast moving entity.

2004-09-18T18:30:00.000+08:00

currently listening: yes i will- backstreet boys
*burp finally had my banana split pie from burger king and im thoroughly satisfied; at least for now.
tralalala. the hols have officially kicked off and as usual there'll be lotsa times to bum around the house and do nothing but get on my mom's nerves.hahaha.
pooi. i need a job.. im just bloody lazy to...
1) get a job.
2) to work in the job.
tadah! so it's more or less settled for me to be a pest in the house.
moneymoneymoneymoneymoney.
tis the season to be BROKE!
pfffft.

2004-09-17T01:28:00.000+08:00

its abt 140in the morn. bloggin from ntuc downtown east. it's the second and last night of my class chalet. typing from the computers at the chalet.the keyboards suck. reason why im here typing in this ungodly hr of 6am is coz my mates are either drunk or fast asleep and im undecided on what i should do next.
fantabulous, ainit?

2004-09-16T09:56:00.000+08:00

ahhh. it has been very,very long time since i've updated this journal with my thought provoking/mind stimulating opinions,no?*grin*that was just for an ego boost.
anyhow, its been a really eventful period and the reason behind the lack of updates on my part is because i was unhappy with the fact i could not blog from my laptop coz of the trojan virus which inhibited any form typing in this section.
the first semester for the year has ended in rp; which has left me havin mixed feelings. undoubtly, there will be people i'd miss if they're not in my class in the coming semester.. but there are some which i do not ever want to see/work with for the rest of my life. and nopes, i don't think i'll ever develop any bittersweet nostalgia simply because i'm worlds apart from some.
another thing i've learnt from the period since my last entry is that there is NO place like home. Nora,Jamie and i decided to stay at the esplanade for one night and it was DREADFUL. i have never felt more like a refugee in my entire life than that night, even the genting trip wasn't as bad. there was even security patrolling that night to make sure we weren't playing fool. sleep was EXTREMELY disjointed.
just got through my first night for my class chalet.11 people including myself stayed over in one room.. some took turns to sleep while others *cough* slept through the whole night as they had made their mark of ownership much earlier in the night.. bahahahaha.
so i've yet to blog more on the chalet. will most prolly do so when it's over..
so excuse me while i go get some breakfast.

2004-09-08T07:43:00.000+08:00

you showed up when i least expected it.

2004-09-06T22:12:00.000+08:00

something i've not done in a loong time.
nicked this off friendster..
THE LAST THING YOU..
bought: a can of coffee from the vending machine.
read: an archie comic.
watched: some sitcom on channel 8.. *laugh*
watched on vcd: i can't remember.
PREFER..
club/houseparty: houseparty.. less likely to go astray?:p
cats/dogs: HAMSTERS!! *grin*
pen/pencil: pen.
food/candy: both, at the appropriate times.
cassette/cd: cd.
coke/pepsi: coke all the wayy.
matches/lighter: uhhh..neither?
WHO DO YOU WANT TO KILL?
kill: noone!
kiss: thats for the underprivileged to find out.
THE..
last movie you saw: anacondas.
last song you heard: cruel to be kind- letters to cleo.
last thing you had to drink: ummm..water.
last thing you ate: an orange!
last time you showered: an hr ago.
last time you smiled: *shrug* its been a while,hasn't it.
last time time you laughed: as mentioned previously.
last person you kissed: . . .
Last thing you said: fuck.(not terribly erudite today am i?)
DO YOU..
do drugs: not excessively.
drink: occasionally.
sleep with stuffed animals: HAHAHA..NO!
believe there's life on other planet: you're talking to one.
have any gay or lesbian friends: yes..
consider yourself tolerant to others: no.
believe in astrology: yes.
believe in magic: nope.
have any secrets: obviously.
have any pets:sadly,no.
wear hats: sometimes..
have any piercings: nope.
have any tattoos: nope.
hate yourself: at times.
like your handwriting: hell,NO.
believe in witches: figuratively speaking?
believe in satan: yes.
believe in ghost: *shrugs*
take walks in the rain: HAHA.. i've got to try this out!
sing in the shower: all the time.
love yourself: hell yes!
bored: doh.

2004-09-06T09:53:00.000+08:00

thank god jason said he would end the class early today, cause i don't know how much more of this i can take.
now i know how it feels like to be segregated and be treated the lowest of the low. to be laughed at, mocked at; and have looks of contempt thrown at me.
im never gonna bitch again. i guess sometimes you'll have to learn things the hard way.
bleh.

2004-09-04T10:35:00.000+08:00

i dread coming to school on monday. im at a loss, a huge loss at what to do to a situation that went nightmarishly wrong.
i wanna curl up in bed and stay there for the rest of my life and hide from the world..

2004-09-02T18:06:00.000+08:00

let me make this crystal clear to everyone i know... if you think im someone to vent, punch on or kicked about for no rhyme or reason,, think again!!!
the truth about most people has unplesantly hit me.. and the sad fact is that they're generally a disappointment. was royally pissed today.
look if you're unhappy with me; tell me what the fuck i've done instead of giving me dirty looks or worst still, ignore me when im trying my best to start a conversation with you. BLOODY HELL, what do you take me for!!? and for fucks sake, if i did something wrong, tell me what i've done wrong dammit!! don't let me turn my world upside down and rack the feathers in my brain just to find out why you're giving me the cold treatment, cos chances are i won't be able to. and when i ask you why,, don't answer in riddles!.. sheeeeeeeeeeeeesh. and one last thing, i sincerely hope you know what it feels like when you disregard the people around you who want to show their CARE and CONCERN when you're feeling low..
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gaaaaaaaaah. why do things like these ALWAYS happen to me????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fuck!!!

2004-09-02T14:19:00.000+08:00

go ahead and spread the word to the world that MARCUS IS A FLAKE AND A LOSER.
point out and mock my awkward faults; laugh when i stumble and poke fun at me. i don't give.

2004-09-02T11:14:00.000+08:00

who gets pissed at you for nothing[!?!]
go ahead and ignore me you lot.
i can live on my own.
sometimes i feel like the loser from our class who gets tongue tied when stumped.
screw me for being me.

2004-09-02T10:03:00.000+08:00

wtf did i do wrong now?

2004-09-01T20:07:00.000+08:00

today was a day..
i.... vowed i'd leave this hot and sunny island after poly and NS for elsewhere to explore the horizons and not let the dormant creativity(i sincerely hope it's dormant and not absent) in me be stunted.
i... bought my second cd in two days.
i... enjoyed the day in...two weeks?
i... wanted to be very much alone.
i... actually did not feel much stress after piano..
i... felt my knee cap was going to go bust when i stepped into class this morn.

bah. can't think of anymore. the list was intended to be longer; but... i can't think of anymore..
booi.

2004-08-31T16:35:00.000+08:00

music is my solace.
it takes me far away from all the shite that's happeningg.

2004-08-31T14:24:00.000+08:00

currently listening: oklahoma- billy gilman.
you intrigue me............................................

2004-08-29T12:49:00.000+08:00

currently listening: i think she like me- billy gilman
the morning sucked real bad.. travelled all the way to tiong bahru only to discover there was no youth service.-_______________________________________-! yerp! not a single soul bothered to let me know beforehand *shrugs* figures.
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i've been listening to billy gilman all week. *gasp* bahahaa. he's really gooood,, or at least when he was age 12 years and below and still had the girly voice..
i want his earlier records!!
think my pedophilic tendencies are acting up again..=x
never knew i had them though,, always thought i was a child hater.
i guess my tendencies are highly selective.:D
i like TALENTED kids.
i think im freaking ya'll out....
muahahhahahaa.. o wellllllll..

2004-08-26T17:36:00.000+08:00

till i get used to losing you,let me keep on using you,'til i can make it on my own.
~'Til i can it on my own- billy gilman.

2004-08-25T14:25:00.000+08:00

BAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...
blogger screwed up so i lost an entry................................
beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh.
summary of the entry that i lost..
- met up with josh and ben at taka(orchard) yesterday.
-sam joined us for a lil while and we went with her while she indulged in retail therapy..
- we went to coffee bean after sam left to chill and just chat.. was sorta like a sharing session then.. learned a fair bit there..
- had dinner at cineleisure before i headed for home..
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took this off bryan's blog..
singapore out of the olympics. what a disapointment. li jia wei and susilo are perfect for each other... both of them are looooooosers. fine i'm being mean but. their pathetic. kinda. susilo can beat the world number one but goes out 15-8 15-1 to some lower seed. li jia wei beats the world number 2 and is up 3-1 and loses. i don't think she deserved to win. she wasn't hungry enough for the medal even though the north korean bugger was ultra annoying with her stupid war cry. and den she goes down 4-1 in the bronze medal play off after leading 1-0. what a letdown... and 38 years on... and we're still waiting for our next gold medal. 50 years down the road i bet people will still be talking about that medal.
my thoughts exactly bry... *smirk*
Random sidenote.
honestly speaking, i never knew that the olympics was going to be held this year until i saw snippets of some of the events on tv..
okay, im a ditzy blond..so what?:p

2004-08-23T19:09:00.000+08:00

currently listening: unwind- p!nk.
*jubilant war dance* didn't go to school today cos i had piano exam.. which was perfect timing, cos today's VB day. the exam went badly. it's the first time i've had a female examiner instead of a male examiner and i've taken an instant dislike to female examiners judging from today's exam.she was a bloody british bitch who had really cold eyes that would make me freeze faster than the air conditioner in the room would have .. pffft. hence, i've come to a stereotyping conclusion that british blokes are more examinee-friendly and more lenient(?) than british hags.
enough said.
wondered around orchard by my lonesome after the exam and ended up at borders with the same feeling of contemplation in whether i should get something with my voucher and walking out of borders empty handed as usual.. *SIGH* haha. o well, reckon if i bought something today, i would have regretted anyway:p
tralalala.
the worst part of the week is gone(i hope) it seems( judging from last week, my apologies for stereotyping yet again) the modules which i enjoy and fair slightly better in have become a disappointing let down. first it was communications.. my grp got shot in the arse for overlooking something which we almost had to write a 200(?) word essay on top of the stinkin' rj. and then there was enterprise.. the lesson for the week involved calculations(!)the rj was a freakin' math problem which i scribbled random rubbish as my solution.
phooooey. i hope this week's better.
and ohhhhhh *reminds self* taffy's birthday's on the 28th.. bahahahahahahahaha.
*grins taff*
i'm giving u more recognition than what you require,once again.
a wildly long entry,no? peace.

2004-08-20T15:33:00.000+08:00

currently listening:i have nothing- whitney houstan
reminder to self: i must not let myself get too attached to anyone.
i must try my best to remain indifferent...

pooooooooo!
words are cheap.

2004-08-20T13:17:00.000+08:00

currently listening: power 98
i can't wait for the day to end.

2004-08-19T19:26:00.000+08:00

currently listening- the voice within- christina aguilera
why do i dig in too much into the meaning of your words?
it confuses me.

2004-08-19T09:43:00.000+08:00

currently listening: let the music heal your soul- bravo all stars
just some random thoughts that i've been having lately.. here's the list of must-haves if i'd ever become filthy rich..
1) a pianist in my room that'd play throughout the night.. every single night.
2) my own movie theatre.
3) a stuffed fridge.
4) a water bed.
5) a limo
6) 10 servants...( seee, i'm not soo greedy:p)
7) a garden that's the size of the botanical gardens.
8) a list of my fav artist perform live in my housee. (think TRL..*lol*)
9) my own recording studio..
10) my own live band..
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okaaay, that was lame and this entry so far is generating into worthless crap.. but these are some of the issues that i've been fantasizing abt , so there!:p

2004-08-17T20:04:00.000+08:00

currently listening: you're the one i want- john travolta; olivia newton john
it's been a few days since i last blogged. the past few days have been rather physically draining.i was sick on the last day of the trip to genting. meeeh,, anyhow, i'd much rather be sick on the way back of the trip than during the trip... anyhow, it was a V.good short getaway to summarise my evaluation of the trip even the duration of the trip was just right.
a short summary of the events of the trip will be posted below.. photos would be uploaded another time once i get it from nora and learn how to upload them on this blog..
13th august' 2004(friday the 13thhh :s)
- arrived at lavender mrt station at around 915pm
- met the others and boarded the bus at around 930pm
- bus left at aroud 10pm
14th august'2004
-arrived at the hotel in genting at around 5ish in the morn.. lotsa pits stops on the bus journey and watched around the world in 80 days on the bus( sleep was fairly disjointed)
- walked around and slacked at the mall for abt 2 to 3 hrs at some cafe in the mall and waited until 7 or 8am before headin back to the hotel lobby to have some breakfast..
- we decided not to have breakfast at the lobby and decided to have it a burger king in the mall.
- after breakfast, we went to the theme park..entrance fee was 33rm. i actually sat on a rollercoaster...okaaay, so it was a mini one.. but it was scary enough for me.. also tried the flying chairs( a ride that was in a form of a merry- go- round 'cept there're many chairs instead of horses) which looked harmless..i was BLOODY wrongg.. the chairs flew at great height and speed which i was totally unprepared forr..hah.
-went on a few other similar but not so scary rides after the flying chairs and sat on a cable car to head back into the mall whr the girls shopped like deprived housewivess on the prowl..lol, i'm KIDDING.
- checked in at the hotel at 230pm.. some of us slacked in the rooom while others continued roaming around in the mall..
- had insightful conversations and discussions on various topics at around 5 ish in the evening with the grp..(think bitchings and horror stories;p)
- went out to buy back pizzas from some pizza shop at around 7 to 8 plus in the night and had dinner in the room..
- we went back to the room and we turned in early as we ran out of ways to entertain ourselves..
- hardly slept in the night.. was kept awake by Ray's snoring and weird sleeping habits and sink noises that went about every 5 mins.. i bet even an earthwake would not make him awake..
15th august' 04
-got out of bed at 8ish and had had breakfast in the last 15 mins of the buffet duration in the lobby..
- packed up my stuff and watched telly while awating the time to check out.
- walked aroung the mall and had a game of bowling before watchin the girls shopped,AGAIN.
- took the cable car to some place before boarding the bus to head back to singapore with again, many pit stops..
- got to know michelle's aunt on the way back to singapore.. found her terribly interestin'...
- had the flu throughout the daay.
- ken's bro sent me home..

that's abt the framework of the events on my genting trip with ken, ray, nora, michelle and jamie.it was a pleasure to hang out with all of em.. special thanks to michelle and her mom for organising this outing and inviting me..
aiight, i've ranted long enough....

2004-08-13T13:31:00.000+08:00

i do not feel like going to genting at all.

2004-08-13T12:56:00.000+08:00

if you're gonna give me the cold treatment; you're not WORTHY to be my friend atall.
you brush me aside like i'm some fink, giving me the fucking cold shoulder.
i FUCKING hate it when i've no idea what i've done wrong; and u isolate me like i've commited a grave sin.
i'm gonna be a recluse.. and it's YOUR fault.

2004-08-11T15:34:00.000+08:00

i can't get enough of you.

2004-08-11T10:07:00.000+08:00

currently listening: before your love- kelly clarkson
blogging from class. almost everyone has gone for breakfast. things have been somewhat abysmal for me and .. also, the fact that i'm quite tired of dealing with impossibility of situations.
bah. tired,tired tiiiiiiiiiirrrreeeeeeeeeeeeed.. both physically and mentally. good lord, felt like i had on cement sneakers while walking to class today. i'm that exhausted.
i just realised i might be missing a cognitive UT cos of a piano exam on friday.. i'm abit apprehensive abt that cos i'm just scraping through that module with a minimum pass..beeeeeh.jooy indeed.
on a happier note, i'll be going to genting with maa homies on friday night for a well deserved weekend getaway.. whooooo boooy.. much looking forward to that *grins*

2004-08-09T14:05:00.000+08:00

*yawns* mightily sleepy day, today..
nothing on agenda suits me better than awesome.
me is very laidback and is relaxed...=) no corruptive or evil thoughts *beams*
goood day..ohh goooood daaay.
*falls back on chair*

2004-08-09T10:42:00.000+08:00

being aimless is on today's agenda.

2004-08-08T22:40:00.000+08:00

currently listening: spiderman man's theme-micheal buble
V.conflicted and confused,happens when things don't go as planned.
i wish we didn't have hearts; cos if we didn't, we'd all have the liberty to be cruel and not feel guilty atall.

2004-08-08T17:31:00.000+08:00

liiii's online!! *beams happily* was sad when she left yesterday. her departure was the first in a long time and the bad feeling still remains. happy! happy,haaaaaaaappppy! it doesn't matter if she's a thousand miles away,msn is here to make heeeer staaay! okaaay, that sounded wrong.oh wells, too happy to be coherent!! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
mel says i'm a narcissist..i've never thought of myself that way.
o well.
i'm deprived from the love of others.hahahahaha
it's apparent that i'm still NOT sober yet.
lalalala.

2004-08-07T22:41:00.000+08:00

currently listening: breakaway -kelly clarkson
i never thought it'll be this hard to say goodbye to someone you care alot for.

2004-08-06T22:38:00.000+08:00

currently listening: the greatest reward- celine dion
i'll miss you, liannnnne!

come back soooon to visit!
wow, a whole post dedicated to u *grin*
another post will be dedicated to u tmr when u leavvee...:)
right now. here's all i can whip up to bid u farewell for a lil while.
byebye hun and all da best:p
best regards,
Marcus.

2004-08-06T07:59:00.000+08:00

currently listening: africa- toto
it's gonna be a baad day, i can just feel it in my bones.
it's vb day, need i say more?
nora's not here either.. boooy, this is gonna suck big time.

2004-08-04T20:55:00.000+08:00

currently listening: to the sounds of the computer
time for another update! *grins* first up, dinner with cheryl last night was good! it was rad to meet up and hangout with her:p awesome and ohh, GRUEL! haha.
took some silly pictures in class with me acting retarded by striking silly poses; marcus you attention seeker you:)anyhow, today was by far the most interestin lesson of the week.. cnc lessons are the most interestin of the lot!
ladaladala.. another UT tommorow..
gotta study. laters!

2004-08-03T11:42:00.000+08:00

last night was fantabulous! got to meet lianne one last time before she leaves for england! met steph and lianne at orchard after school and we headed down to tampinies for them to get..uhh charmbracelets?fortunately for me all i had to carry was one miserable bag that contained 100 bucks worth of jewellery. neat! i love it when girls by expensive stuffs that do not weigh much; especially when it requires not much involvment on my part except to be assertive in my opinion on their choices. i can safetly say i've learnt alot from my two cousins yesterday and after the horrendously long train rides from one end of the island and back has taught me to treat girls with extreme caution and care! haha.rright.. nonetheless, i've been forwarned to do so.heh.
dinner was at some pub in chijmes. food was deeelicious! i had this really huge burger( kahoona burger)that was as tall as a ketchup bottle! rofl. it was fantastic! why can't all burgers be as huge as that? haha. wishful thinking on my part.
stayed over a mel's place after that and went to school the next day from her place.

2004-07-31T09:51:00.000+08:00

currently listening: breakaway- kelly clarkson(princess diaries ost)
well, i'm back to blog in this journal. i figured if i continue to succumb to the mindset that i have the writer's block; this blog would reach it's prime sooner than intended.well, the days have been significantly routined and has left me weary,dry and nonchalant.
disregarding the above, i've also been an emotional rollercoaster.
the biggest irony huh. meeeeeeh. i feel like a bleeeding female.
i shld turn gay sometime soon...haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

kidding lah!

2004-07-29T09:30:00.000+08:00

currently listening: without you-clay aiken and kim locke
i'm taking a break from blogging in this blog. i will be back.
it has come to a point where i want to keep my thoughts to myself.

2004-07-26T09:25:00.000+08:00

there's so much i want to say but my pride doesn't let me;
so many issues i need to settle..
i need a private place to rant without inhibition and fear of the judgemental others.
i've created a private blog.
will be updating here too;
but be prepared for vague posts.

2004-07-24T17:49:00.000+08:00

currently listening: are u happy now?- michelle branch
someone said this..
The second reason is deeper in it's root. On the surface it's childish, but in reality, anyone who picks on anyone else just to try to make them mad is really only showing their own lack of self-esteem. Think about it: it's "kick-the-cat" syndrome. You're feeling low, so if you can point out another person's faults and get them to admit to them by their getting angry (a false accusation would have no effect, just like a joke without a tinge of truth isn't funny at all), you can rejoice in having found (or made) a companion to your misery. Yay, I made you look bad and feel bad. I'm not as bad because you have faults, too.
i think this really applies to alot of people i know, including myself.
i am ashamed.